


aperture

by reddoorandlemontree



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, R plus L equals J
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 17:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12017280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddoorandlemontree/pseuds/reddoorandlemontree
Summary: a conversation in the godswood, post-season 7.





	aperture

He hasn't spoken to Daenerys in days.

Revelations of old feuds and tails exhumed had left whatever they had in a desolate ruin -- be in love that would have blossomed to something more, given the chance. Jon couldn't bare to bring himself to look her in the eyes during meetings, afraid of what he would find there, afraid that he may fall all over again.

Still, unbeknownst to Daenerys, he keeps a close eye on her. He may not ever be able to love this woman again but he shall protect her all the same, more even. So when he notices she is missing once again, his heart is weighed down in worry that he wishes would silence.

Before he can stop himself, Jon makes his way to her chamber, the path so painfully familiar. It was one of the grander ones that he had only ever found himself in when he and Robb explored the keep's secret passage ways as boys and came upon them by accident. Upon their arrival, however, he'd come to know the route in the nights spent together before....

As Jon approaches the grand oak doors, he finds Missandei just exiting, and stops her, asking, "Is she alright?"

Though Missandei may not know the details of their relationship -- or lack thereof -- she must know of the pain he has caused her friend, because she eyes him coldly before saying, "Her Grace is in the godswood."

It doesn't answer his question but he nods anyway, keeping his eyes down.

He can tell Missandei's glad he at least has the humility to do so as she gently places a gloved hand on his shoulder before walking past 

As promised, Jon finds her sitting beside the heart tree. She looks different from when he last saw her, though he's not sure when that was. She looks tired -- exhausted, even -- but her skin still glows.

He's silent, for a time, until Daenerys glances up, either not shocked to see him or very good at hiding it. After a moment of tense silence, she makes space for him to sit, eyes still vacant of any emotion he would have expected to find.

Jon allows himself to sit beside her, though his posture is stiffer than it would have been just a week ago. "You haven't been attending meals or the small council meetings, your Grace."

" _'Your Grace_ ,'" she scoffs with a humorless chuckle, "back to that again, are we?" She looks away and keeps her eyes trained on a fallen leaf floating in the spring. "Sorry," she says, quietly this time, "and no, I tried to come today but I haven't been feeling well. Perhaps it's the cold."

He nods, now feeling unsure of his true intent. "I apologize for interrupting your prayer," he finally says.

"It's alright." He can tell she's contemplating something in the way her fingers pick at the fabric of her dress nervously. Finally, she says, "I came to ask the gods for forgiveness. Before, I thought that perhaps they were punishing me for the wrongdoings of my father, but now it feels as if I'm paying for the sins of all seventeen kings that sat the bloody throne.

"I never got to know my mother nor Rhaegar," she continues, "and Viserys was dead to me long before he got his crown of molten gold. Then, I lost Drogo to that witch, and our son as well. I never even got to see him, you know, let alone hold him." She finally looks at him and he sees the first tear fall. "And now I've lost you." Her voice is quiet, and a small, sad smile graces her lips.

Jon can feel his heart pounding against his ribs, in his ears, and painfully bobbing in his throat.

"Daenerys..." he starts, but she sniffles and regains the cold composure she always holds now.

She looks up at the weirwood, as if willing the gods to take away the traitorous tears. "No, I understand. I wouldn't ever hold it against you. I'll still protect you -- protect the realm, that is, and if I pass defeating the Night King," she takes a deep breath, "I don't care how much you don't want to, you _will_ rule, and you _will_  destroy this system, this great _game_... break the wheel."

Before Jon can say anything, she gets up, chin held high, and turns to walk away

It's then that he realizes that if he doesn't act now, his Dany is gone forever, only leaving behind a colder ghost of herself. Jon reaches out to grab her hand, wanting to speak but no words could hope to do justice.

She turns, and the queenly masquerade falls away. _No, please don't, I don't think I can survive this again_ , she wants to say, but she only brings his hand up and presses her lips to his knuckles, eyes shut tight in pain, leaving teardrops on his hand.

And with that, Daenerys pulls her hood up and rushes to her chambers, not looking back once.

* * *

 


End file.
